He stood there behind me in the checkout line at the Habitat Restore clutching two 10’ pieces of 2” PVC pipe. Wearing a cut-off sleeved flannel, dirty ball cap and jeans, he looked every bit the redneck Hoosier stereotype. He yelled across the store to a lady pushing a cart full of sundries, “Sarah! If I cut these in half I will have two 5’ pieces each. All I need to do is paint the ends with some bright orange paint and I am good to go.” She didn’t say anything. A moment later, “If I cut these in half, I will have two 5’ pieces!” No response. Another few moments, “Two 5 footers each!”
My first response was to roll my eyes inwardly because clearly she was not interested or was embarrassed by the spectacle. Like dude, stop. I laughingly messaged the little story to my friend Kaycee and her response was on point. She said, “Dude was proud of himself. He was just looking for an ‘attaboy.’ All he wanted was a pat on the back. We all like an ‘attaboy’ or an ‘attagirl’ and some things that might seem so easy or simple for some of us are actually a big deal to others.”
Well. Shut my mouth.
There’s a lesson here for me. Maybe for you too, if you are reading this. People — humans — are all looking for some sort of affirmation, especially from those who are significant in our lives. Those moments in my life where I accomplish some little thing or figured out something and I just want someone to notice and mention it are important to me — sometimes illogically so, but they are. Likewise, I am trying to be the one who notices those moments in the lives of those I encounter and try to compliment or make mention of what I observe. Whether the cashier tried a new hairstyle, or the barista is happy because he got a new lady in his life, it’s fun to smile, engage with them and be an encourager. I have been going to see Zeke play T-Ball it’s a bunch of 4 year olds. They have no idea how to play this game yet, but they are learning in a safe environment, surrounded by coaches and parents who are encouraging and cheering them on — “Run to first! Good job! Ok, now when she hits the ball, run to second!” And I see Zeke smile and nod and give the thumbs up.
I know that I appreciate being encouraged — whether it is a simple “go you!” message from my friend Stephanie, or a heartfelt thank-you from Bob, those words of affirmation – the ‘attaboys’ give us all a little light and hope to carry on each day.